theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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