My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
