i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
