I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
