I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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