Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I accidentally had phone sex last night
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
this hospital has no fireball
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Randomize
