Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Randomize
