Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
