i can't believe i had my finger in that
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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