He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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