1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
If I die, sorry about rent.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
