What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
handjob tips. give me some.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
