I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
