I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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