why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
