Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
