we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
