My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
