Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
The adults are the big ones right?
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
