Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
