You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I need to align my fucking chakras
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
