is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
