Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Randomize
