hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
