sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Randomize
