Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
