She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize