My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
