Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
