Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Iām glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
