he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
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