Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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