just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
