im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
