This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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