What a fucking waste of an outfit
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
