you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Send help, water and tortillas.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
