Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
You need Xanax blowdarts
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
