I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
