It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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