that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
