Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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