She is in my trunk
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
