Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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