all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
