At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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