bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
