If that was your dad, he is hot
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
