Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
