I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
