do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
