I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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